You finally recognize that it’s time to have a hard conversation. The scariest moment has come and you have to do it! There is nothing more uncomfortable than having to approach someone you don’t want to have a conversation. You feel anxious and afraid. Most people do not like confrontation and the thought of it causes stomachs to feel nauseous and to ball up in knots. Anyone relating?
A few things to remember once you have invited the individual to have the conversation with you:
1. Place value on the relationship. Tell the person exactly why you want to have the conversation. Perhaps, concern for them and maintaining the relationship.
2. Do not go in with accusations. State what you felt or experienced clearly without ANY accusations, just share. No finger pointing, but lots of clarity.
3. Give the individual an opportunity to share. Be intentional about being a good listener when the person begins to share. If you set being a good listener as your only expectation; it’s already a WIN!
4. Be ready to take responsibility for your part. You may be the person that was wrong or may be accused of being wrong. Own it!
5. Be willing to forgive and move beyond the moment. Sometimes people are not receptive so be willing to be okay with that.
6. Decide what expectations are beyond the discussion and next steps. Ensure that both of you walk away with clarity of what is next for the relationship. Don’t be pushy about this though. Just make sure you walk away with the right heart.
I have had MANY difficult conversations over my many years of working with people and it really does not ever go that bad. If you go in with the right attitude things will go well. There are occasions where people are just not receptive but you must realize that is not on you but them. You have to do your part in the restoration process and the ball is not longer in your court. There are also times when you go in and realize you are wrong, accept it. Taking responsibility for your personal actions and sometime the hard conversation was to reveal something about you. Accept it and grow from it!
I hope this is helpful! If you need a little more in-depth coaching in this area or relationships in general please contact me. I think I can help you in a few sessions. I would love to connect with you!
Wisdom on point as usual, Lisa!