So let’s get back to a discussion on transition. I think that when transition happens for some people there is a struggle because sometimes people’s identity has become tied to what they do. That is an issue! Often, I have talked to people and it isn’t the change that they are struggling with as much as the role or title associated with what they are doing. This could include a community role, parent role, etc. I am not just referring to a paid position. When transition or change is a real problem for someone it may reveal that there is a lot more going on with the person. The problem may possibly be tied to identity. You are not what you do!
I want to remind you that we cannot get to the place that our identity is tied to our role or our titles. Yes, some of us are really good at our jobs; but we cannot allow ourselves to be defined by our jobs. Yes, God may have uniquely wired you to do some things; and you may do them better than someone else, but that in itself is not the core of who you are.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself, that may help you identify if this is a problem for you:
1. Do you think you are the only one who can do the job?
2. Do you feel at a loss when you are not at work or doing that job?
3. Do you stay up late at night thinking about your job or role?
4. Are you jealous when others do what you do and they get recognition?
5. Can you not picture yourself doing another job?
6. Do you get anxious if you think about doing another job?
7. Is your job all you talk about?
Yes, I encourage you to do a great job at doing the work your employer is paying you to do. Do the best you can in any role or assignment you have. Work really hard at your job and try to be a great employer. Your job or role should not consume you however but you should have a good sense of who you are as a person.
When you walk into a room do you want to be known for your job or title or do you want people to know who you are? Do you want them to know your values and beliefs are? I would love for people to have a sense of who I am if I no longer had that role or job.
Vacations are a great time to examine the identity factor in relation to your job. First of all, do you take a vacation? I have worked with people who never take a vacation. I suggest you use every day you are given. Those days are from the LORD! Your job can get done without you and it will still be there when you get back. If it isn’t then there is something better for you. Secondly when on vacation, you should be able to relax and not think about your job. I leave things in order then I go and I go on vacation and enjoy myself. People always laugh when I go on vacation because I literally “peace out”. I have often told people that I enjoy my vacation because if I were dead someone would do my job. Therefore when I am on vacation they can pretend I am dead and someone will get the work done. I am not what I do!
The problem with thinking you are what you do comes when your role changes or transition happens. If your identity is in your role, you will fall apart! I have seen it over and over again. Individuals begin to wonder what they did wrong or question how they will be able to move past the change. Nope, the problem is you were too tied to the role or position. You don’t have a true sense of who you are. Your identity was in the role!
I want to challenge you that if any of this seems to be hitting home to where you are right now you can make a change. You can discover who you are again if you have fallen into this trap. The first step to change is evaluating where you are with your identity. Do you know who you are?
If you need a life coach to help you to move forward in this area, let’s talk.